Today it was as I pulled the plates out of the cupboard for lunch and I pulled down only 5. It’s something I’ve done for the past few years but I had anticipated that soon we’d need 6 places at the table. Yesterday it was going to a kid’s flea market with Ellison and trying hard not to look at all of the baby girl clothing available for the Spring. The day before it was watching the crazy unfold between your siblings and wishing you too were a part of it. The thing is, it’s not just today…. it’s everyday. It’s everyday of missing you Pierce. There is an eternal line now- life before you and life after.  Even logging back on to this blog for the first time in months and looking back just two posts, I see a picture of you. You inside of me. Full of life. Tasting those berries right along with me. So much hope right there in the comfort of my womb.

So as I pick up once again to writing the stories of our lives, I just needed everyone to know, that no matter what I write here you are a part of us and we miss you so very much. Your life matters. Although it’s what the world sees, we are no longer a family of 5. Although I don’t set a place for you at our table, you my precious baby are a part of our lives. You have forever changed us in ways we never imagined.

Today will be lived to the fullest. It’s one of the many things your life has taught us.

4 Replies to “Today”

  1. Precious thoughts….thank you Beth for sharing such a private, beautiful, painful part of you with us….prayers your way….

  2. My heart breaks for you and though I have not personally experienced this, I know that your mother’s heart will always treasure and ponder these things…Love you friend!

  3. I love your love & honesty. I can’t imagine all your family must feel and how many tears shed but know you’re not alone: many of us are praying for you & holding you close in our hearts.

  4. Praying for you sweet friend! I am so, so sorry this is something you and your family have had to experience. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us.

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