On Monday we started school via K12, which is a virtual public school that gives families the option to educate their kids through the school system from home. All summer long I ignored the signs telling me that maybe we should rethink the decision to educate her this way. For instance, when the boxes of K12 curriculum arrived, I wanted to run in a corner in the fetal position and cry. As I told people what we’d decided to do the word excited was never a part of my vocabulary. So I did what every responsible person does when they need to make a major decision, I waited. I waited until the last possible minute in fact to really dig in and figure out what my requirements were as her teacher. I also prayed that God would give me the energy and desire to do this, but honestly it just wasn’t happening. Fumbling through books and rearranging phonics tiles just frustrated me. But….I forged ahead thinking it would all just work out. After pulling some late nighters to try to make some order out of the curriculum, Monday arrived and we dove into her books. After about an hour, I got a horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I knew…..
I realized that educating Ellison while parenting a four year old and toddler was going to really eat a lot of my energy and time. And most importantly I knew that I had zero joy in doing it. It was time to talk about all those warning signs and what we believed God was telling us for this season.
As Ian and I discussed things, I shared that I really like where God has me in my ministry role of getting us overseas. I don’t mind tinkering in excel or blogging or corralling receipts because I love why I’m doing it. When this whole Austria thing was birthed, God spoke to both of us and gave both of us the desire to be a part of His story in Austria. When I left my job at North Point in January it was to serve my family well in this season. I realized that one of the major ways that I am serving my family well in this season is working to get us towards Austria. It’s what I’m passionate about and it’s an important job to do and I love doing it. In order for me to maintain this role we did the grown up thing and made a decision.
Ian and I decided as a team to let someone else act as her educator in this season. Our involvement with her education is very much a top priority, but that doesn’t mean that we have to make it all happen from start to finish.
So on Wednesday morning we took our little girl to what felt like a great big elementary school where she knew no one. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done but I knew at the same time that it was the right thing to do. When we told her on Tuesday what we’d decided, she danced and danced and smiled from ear to ear. I suspect that she had a little bit of dread in her tummy as well.
I am overjoyed at my new role in her education. I am bringing her name before our great God and verbally placing her in his care as I think about her at school. I told Him that I trusted Him with Ellison and that I knew, as a dear friend wrote to me last night, He’s got the whole world in His hands, including out little daughter. When the clock finally hit 2:30 on that first day I couldn’t wait to see her face and hear about her day. Nervously I asked her how it was, and without any hesitation she said “It was awesome mommy. This is the best school ever.”